Gladness

Tonight I am glad to be me... Not always but tonight I am. I don't wear heels to see my girlfriends, I ride a bike to happy hour, I am proud of the little things... And today it is the most beginningness of sweet summer. "A year without summer is like a life without love". Tonight I am glad to have both..

Arithmetic

Last school year I taught in an Autism class with six other strong female personalities. Out of the seven of us: one was the classroom teacher, four were behavior interventists, and I was the classroom assistant. Out of the seven of us: one is a Grandmother, one is married to a kind Hawaiian man, one is a lesbian, four got engaged (not including the Speech Pathologist who also got engaged but wasn't factored into the equation), and one of us is me.

Credentials of the Heart

Getting my teaching Credential this semester meant I would take a leave of absence from my teaching assistant job and student teach at a different school. I had to recreate the master teachers style of teaching and carry through her planning. I wasn't able to fully be myself in this space, but I learned a lot about myself during this time. This process wasn't what I originally expected it to be: it wasn't about me. This was about the system. Imagining this experience would change my life I was a bit disappointed when it wasn't as earth shaking as I expected. It did change me, just not in the way I anticipated. It made me realize I am capable... It gave me confidence as an educator.

Now I am two years into my teaching program at the University sitting pretty with a 4.0 and countless moments of experience (due to student teaching and my five years as a special education assistant)and with no Credentialed teaching job to speak of. How do you celebrate something you are so proud of but have nothing tangible to show for??


I've been back at my old job now for a month and with summer in sight... The anticlimactic feeling is palpable. But the Kindergarteners I work with asked me to please never leave again, the students in the Autosm class remembered me and the fifth graders are All graduating to middle school. They had to write letters to people who changed their life... one student choose me. Earlier this year he had surgery and I was kind to him. In his letter he wrote, "you helped heal me. Thank you for always being there for me after I had surgery. When I was going through pain and crying you were there for me, cheering me up." This letter warmed my heart..

Engagement Chicken...

I suppose it's worth a try...

So LONG...

What a difference a year and a month makes... Suppose my cathartic journey that was supposed to take place in cyberspace... where my blog was never made public, where I am my only follower; hasn't been entirely productive. Or maybe it has, perhaps because I never felt the need to post anything else about the subject. I have not posted a word about this for a year and a month, yet it is always here. The feeling of it is always here... Maybe it will happen?