the beginning...

So maybe what gets to me the most about marriage is that I truly believed I would never have to worry about it. That's not to say I am so magnificent, beautiful, smart, or charming that I always had a date. It is quite the opposite: I feel that I've been told my entire dating career that I'm the marrying type... just not the dating type. This coming from every boy I had crushes on (and there were many). The handsome "bad" boys who wouldn't date me because I was "too sweet and innocent, I'd break your heart". My high school boyfriend swore we'd end up together because I was " the kinda girl you marry". I promised five Chris's and one Matt that I would save myself to marry them by 25 if we both weren't married (like the Friends episode: "back-up"). So maybe that's why it's a little hard to swallow me being 26 and dating the same man for four years who does not want to get married and most importantly does not want to marry ME! Where are you: five Chris's and one Matt??? I figured it might be healthy for me to quit talking about it with my boyfriend and start sending it out into the universe. Maybe it will even be cathartic? So begins the chronicles of the girl who everyone planned to marry but no one did.