dreaming

I am newly engaged. As of February 2012. And I am having a difficult time making the right choices to design my ideal wedding. I've been given the advice "do what you love, do what you want, it's your day". People ask "well, how have you always imagined it". The truth is, I have never let myself. Of course, I've imagined my life with Trevor, even our marriage but never the wedding. Six years ago in the beginning of our relationship, he told me he never wanted to get married. So, I never allowed myself to dream of what I'd want it to be. I knew I couldn't stay with him without a commitment. So instead of planning my fantasy wedding, I spent time having nightmares of saying goodbye to him and his family, who I have also fallen in love with. But now, the best part of all of this is being able to plan a wedding with my family, with his family and with the man who never wanted to get married.